December one of the most precious months of whimsical thrills and wonders.
I sit and know that God's word is living and very active! The time - eternity- through the Christ child born so long ago, means life forever for those who choose him. From the beginning of time we awaited, anticipated, and with eager expectation he came; the arrival of the Messiah over two thousand years ago . . . He was foretold about, he was here, he died, he was buried, and he arose and ascended to Heaven to sit at the right hand of God! Yes - He is ALIVE.
Every December we recognize the birth of the child who is the redeemer for all mankind!!! Every December the true meaning of Christmas IS Jesus Christ living and for all those whom receive him, he is eagerly preparing a place for us to be with HIM forevermore! He is coming back to take his Bride. He is!
December gives me goosebumps. People open up and find there really is more to life than "stuff". They for a moment reach out to touch others in "giving". People find ways to "help the less fortunate". Humanity . . . cares for the ability to LOVE ONE ANOTHER! Look around . . . even the "Ebenezer Scrooges' " discover . . . LOVE sometime, because their icy hearts cave in to allowing others to love them. Consequentially they need to receive before they can GIVE. Everyone . . . YES EVERYONE desires to be loved. December holds the opportunity to accomplish that. Humanity was demonstrated the most ultimate LOVE GIFT in the form of a babe, born to two very simple young parents passing down that heritage of selfless love while obeying the LORD.
December thrills me to the core. My womb five times carried a child through this season of perpetual giving, and each time . . . whether early in pregnancy or ready to deliver; the Savior came to mind. Hadassah being our last . . . allowed me the opportunity to participate in a live nativity and then a mime moment of wonder through a song: "Breath of Heaven" - Amy Grant, only days before she was born and I to pondered the thought of Mary carrying our Savior - the Kinsmen Redeemer . . . AWE . . . Mary bore him knowing he was the Messiah. The thrill of such a priceless gift - YAHWEH gave it ALL in this God-Man, So that we may LIVE. He left Heaven to be born so that we may know him fully. Then the Lord allowed me to birth our last child close to the day we recognize HIM. Ahhhh, December.
December . . . beginning two days before all the way to the end of December . . . our family is surrounded by the reminder of LIFE. Emily, Faith, Hadassah and myself all have birthdays in (or around) December. Our Anniversary . . . Yep December. CHRISTmas!!! December.
And a dear friends birthday the 31st . . . the last day of the year - December!
Family, Friends - LOVE . . . all shown in DECEMBER.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Another Year
The moment the rays of light tried to play peek a boo . . . the sweet feet of one of the girls jumped into bed to greet me with a warm hug and kiss . . .
Another year of life has come and slowly slipped by and it reminds this heart of how sweet people are in life! Breath. "This is the air I breathe, this is the air I breathe" . . . just take another.
Only but a midst but worth every vapor.
Three very vital people in my life that has totally rescued me and revived this heart of mine to beat with a different strength. Strength to desire deep from with in the recesses of my soul to be granted another day to "WIN, WIN"! What? Win, win? Yes win, win.
On a very frigged night Sunday evening March 18, 1984 this cardiovascular muscle was radically operated on and transplanted from a physician that had incredible hands. Rough, firm, steady and calloused from being an incredible hard labor yet to the touch; soft, gentle, feathery light with the suppleness of a brand new infant baby's unblemished skin. The water chilly to the dermis while encompassing the unusual sense of warmth. The goosebumps rose but not from the bit of frost but from the internal heat surmounting almost bubbling to an inferno speed ready to erupt with unfathomable praise & speech. Breathe in, breath out. The smell . . . different, unthinkable but etched forever deep in the crevices of the mind. Life was just beginning that dark, cold and exuberant night. Eager to go to Yvonne's live in location; an elderly house cared employment to say THANK YOU for my spiritual journey to come to a point of no return. REBIRTH! It was uncontainable, refreshing - ADVENTUROUS. Who knew?
Then and now, it would be reflected with a deep sigh, smile and slow released tear of PRAISE to express my wonderfully grateful hearts beat of another year. Another year to listen to laughter, another year to endure incredible pain, another year to birth the miracle of life as a surprise on Christmas Eve no less,
another year to hold a hand, hug another, whisper a prayer, groan with anguish that ONLY the Holy Spirit could heal, cleanse and mend while interceding. Amazed that while in writhing laughter so hard that the muscles ached with the gut agony of pain through bellows of glee and the need for oxygen trying not to hyperventilate, loose all vocal abilities or bladder control. Another year to speak freely, trying desperately to manage to HOLD the tongue, be vivacious with spirit or simply curl up and sequester the soul in pure silence. ANOTHER YEAR - praise be to the LORD.
Yes Tia, I love you, your sisters and Daddy with all my heart and deep "from the bottom of my LIVER!" ;-D He granted me one more year, and another day to awake and smile freely through every look, touch, smell, taste and listen with an ear to hear.
Thank You dear Abba! I really don't deserve another nano second let alone another day but Thank You for ONE more YEAR that has made the many you've breathed life into me on that December first morning! My muscles ache for you as I eagerly step into the beginning of another year loving those whom you've granted me to be with to grow. I know you'll ALWAYS be here another year along side of me - hold my hand please while you keep transforming this heartbeat to your rhythm.
Another year of life has come and slowly slipped by and it reminds this heart of how sweet people are in life! Breath. "This is the air I breathe, this is the air I breathe" . . . just take another.
Only but a midst but worth every vapor.
Three very vital people in my life that has totally rescued me and revived this heart of mine to beat with a different strength. Strength to desire deep from with in the recesses of my soul to be granted another day to "WIN, WIN"! What? Win, win? Yes win, win.
On a very frigged night Sunday evening March 18, 1984 this cardiovascular muscle was radically operated on and transplanted from a physician that had incredible hands. Rough, firm, steady and calloused from being an incredible hard labor yet to the touch; soft, gentle, feathery light with the suppleness of a brand new infant baby's unblemished skin. The water chilly to the dermis while encompassing the unusual sense of warmth. The goosebumps rose but not from the bit of frost but from the internal heat surmounting almost bubbling to an inferno speed ready to erupt with unfathomable praise & speech. Breathe in, breath out. The smell . . . different, unthinkable but etched forever deep in the crevices of the mind. Life was just beginning that dark, cold and exuberant night. Eager to go to Yvonne's live in location; an elderly house cared employment to say THANK YOU for my spiritual journey to come to a point of no return. REBIRTH! It was uncontainable, refreshing - ADVENTUROUS. Who knew?
Then and now, it would be reflected with a deep sigh, smile and slow released tear of PRAISE to express my wonderfully grateful hearts beat of another year. Another year to listen to laughter, another year to endure incredible pain, another year to birth the miracle of life as a surprise on Christmas Eve no less,
another year to hold a hand, hug another, whisper a prayer, groan with anguish that ONLY the Holy Spirit could heal, cleanse and mend while interceding. Amazed that while in writhing laughter so hard that the muscles ached with the gut agony of pain through bellows of glee and the need for oxygen trying not to hyperventilate, loose all vocal abilities or bladder control. Another year to speak freely, trying desperately to manage to HOLD the tongue, be vivacious with spirit or simply curl up and sequester the soul in pure silence. ANOTHER YEAR - praise be to the LORD.Yes Tia, I love you, your sisters and Daddy with all my heart and deep "from the bottom of my LIVER!" ;-D He granted me one more year, and another day to awake and smile freely through every look, touch, smell, taste and listen with an ear to hear.
Thank You dear Abba! I really don't deserve another nano second let alone another day but Thank You for ONE more YEAR that has made the many you've breathed life into me on that December first morning! My muscles ache for you as I eagerly step into the beginning of another year loving those whom you've granted me to be with to grow. I know you'll ALWAYS be here another year along side of me - hold my hand please while you keep transforming this heartbeat to your rhythm.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Double Digits
Awe double digits once AGAIN!!! ;-)
Ten. . . . the day has finally arrived and truly anticipated greatly. Where did the time whiz by so incredibly fast? She was but a surprise when we discovered we were going to be blessed with her presence and now "10". :-)
The family was very excited to see her "way back then" anticipation eagerly awaited a then second grader, to hear the news if she had a little brother or sister and shouted with glee to "Mrs. Gray" when she whispered in her ear . . . Mya your family is excited to let you know the baby is HERE! She was SO excited she even passed up her favorite lunch in Valley Falls; Chili with homemade cinnamon rolls. She couldn't eat. Tia was eager also to see this new bundle from a kindergartner perspective. Faithy finally got to be a "BIG SISTER" and she just beamed. Now Emily shouts with jovial excited wales, "FINALLY - DOUBLE DIGITS. I'm TEN!!!" She is so energetic. She smiled to have her very dear friend over, Kaylee after spending some time with another dear one. She chose the homemade cake and simple frosting. Our dinner out made her giggle with glee especially since she stood on a chair while they all chanted and sang to her!
Ten years ago . . . it came to me in a wow moment; " I'm the age roughly mommy was when I was the big sister to my baby brother Gabriel. And Lawrence was just beginning life in his 'double digits' -Hahahaha." Now the time lapsed to the present and WOW! Our girls are so uniquely different and we had such a good family day! ;-)
I Love you BUNCHES! I wanna hold your little "feeners" and kiss you all over to hug you tightly and never let you go. Why? . . . Not many of those days left before our home changes once again, never to return to what it is; a live in family of seven unit living under the same roof. Emily, Thanks for your presence over the past ten years. Happy Birthday sweet one! We all Love YOU in your DOUBLE DIGITS and may 11-29 be a great memory for you to cherish.
Love,
Mommy
PS remember, "when I grow up, I want to be just like YOU!" caring and giving deep from with in your every member of soul. squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, -1,2,3, - I LOVE YOU!!!
Ten. . . . the day has finally arrived and truly anticipated greatly. Where did the time whiz by so incredibly fast? She was but a surprise when we discovered we were going to be blessed with her presence and now "10". :-)
The family was very excited to see her "way back then" anticipation eagerly awaited a then second grader, to hear the news if she had a little brother or sister and shouted with glee to "Mrs. Gray" when she whispered in her ear . . . Mya your family is excited to let you know the baby is HERE! She was SO excited she even passed up her favorite lunch in Valley Falls; Chili with homemade cinnamon rolls. She couldn't eat. Tia was eager also to see this new bundle from a kindergartner perspective. Faithy finally got to be a "BIG SISTER" and she just beamed. Now Emily shouts with jovial excited wales, "FINALLY - DOUBLE DIGITS. I'm TEN!!!" She is so energetic. She smiled to have her very dear friend over, Kaylee after spending some time with another dear one. She chose the homemade cake and simple frosting. Our dinner out made her giggle with glee especially since she stood on a chair while they all chanted and sang to her!
Ten years ago . . . it came to me in a wow moment; " I'm the age roughly mommy was when I was the big sister to my baby brother Gabriel. And Lawrence was just beginning life in his 'double digits' -Hahahaha." Now the time lapsed to the present and WOW! Our girls are so uniquely different and we had such a good family day! ;-)
I Love you BUNCHES! I wanna hold your little "feeners" and kiss you all over to hug you tightly and never let you go. Why? . . . Not many of those days left before our home changes once again, never to return to what it is; a live in family of seven unit living under the same roof. Emily, Thanks for your presence over the past ten years. Happy Birthday sweet one! We all Love YOU in your DOUBLE DIGITS and may 11-29 be a great memory for you to cherish.
Love,
Mommy
PS remember, "when I grow up, I want to be just like YOU!" caring and giving deep from with in your every member of soul. squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, -1,2,3, - I LOVE YOU!!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Speechless . . .
Thank You Lover.
Last week you shared a piece of your gentle manner and your inner self through your personal illustration of forgiveness from the sermon. Last night through the act of doing and sharing "LOVE" in the Love Feast with dots of RED. ;-D
You are many things to me, the girls and others. Thank you for being
K nowledgeable & kind
E ncourager
N oble Character
T rustworthy
over the last 24 years together and many other attributes (that are not part of the acronym) that could be listed. You are one of the most godly men I know. Like shared with us once early in our lives, I would pick a man after God's own heart over all the knowledge in the world. So, Thank You for being a mentor in my life . . . for you have taught me MANY things. How to rise to the standard of God and bring others with us because they matter. How to LISTEN earnestly to other people because they are "WORTH listening to". How to be slow(er) to speak and live with less regrets. How to care for those that others pass by quite often. How to be patient (which is STILL being worked on). How to be a student and learner for the word of God. How to stand on the absolute TRUTH of scripture. How to LOVE our girls - as one. How to persevere when the going gets very rough. How to laugh at the simple things. How to be committed to ministry and our calling. How to work through all circumstances. To challenge my life by and to read through the Bible every year.
Kent you leave me speechless. For I am not able to clearly articulate my gratitude to you for being my friend, mentor, preacher, and Lover. I draw comfort in knowing you Love Him first. Remain a man after God's own heart - for that is what allows me to Love you like I do, leaving me;
speechless yet compelled to try to convey my appreciation.
Yours until returning Home.
M - - - -
Last week you shared a piece of your gentle manner and your inner self through your personal illustration of forgiveness from the sermon. Last night through the act of doing and sharing "LOVE" in the Love Feast with dots of RED. ;-D
You are many things to me, the girls and others. Thank you for being
K nowledgeable & kind
E ncourager
N oble Character
T rustworthy
over the last 24 years together and many other attributes (that are not part of the acronym) that could be listed. You are one of the most godly men I know. Like shared with us once early in our lives, I would pick a man after God's own heart over all the knowledge in the world. So, Thank You for being a mentor in my life . . . for you have taught me MANY things. How to rise to the standard of God and bring others with us because they matter. How to LISTEN earnestly to other people because they are "WORTH listening to". How to be slow(er) to speak and live with less regrets. How to care for those that others pass by quite often. How to be patient (which is STILL being worked on). How to be a student and learner for the word of God. How to stand on the absolute TRUTH of scripture. How to LOVE our girls - as one. How to persevere when the going gets very rough. How to laugh at the simple things. How to be committed to ministry and our calling. How to work through all circumstances. To challenge my life by and to read through the Bible every year.
Kent you leave me speechless. For I am not able to clearly articulate my gratitude to you for being my friend, mentor, preacher, and Lover. I draw comfort in knowing you Love Him first. Remain a man after God's own heart - for that is what allows me to Love you like I do, leaving me;
speechless yet compelled to try to convey my appreciation.
Yours until returning Home.
M - - - -
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thankfulness
Today another beautiful sun raise shinning through our windows while the chill is held at bay with a slight morning fog wafting its way around the earth like a thin batting layer awaiting a quilt pattern.
The bustling of girls giggling and the hums of whispers about the goodies that appeared after their eyes grew weary with Mr. Sand Mans' dust. They try to contain their over zealous excitement and pitter patter rapidly down the stairs.
The painted frosted east bedroom windows show a dusting of prisms upon two other precious loves of our home. It is time to rise. Three eager and creeping around trying to keep quiet and two others trying to keep under the covers just a bit longer before coming out a resembling bear in a deep hibernation lasting only 8-10 hours although it should have been like an entire winters slumber. Sleep for me . . . not easy this morning. Too excited to see what the new day holds for our family of seven. Last we were divided in the night; one, two, four all in different locations physically but tied in unity of bloodline.
Kent, and the three "babieeeessss" at home holding down the fort. Mya and Tia in Peoria Illinois on an adventure learning from THE NATIONAL MISSIONARY CONVENTION - seeds being sown deep in their spiritual soils waiting to germinate. My heart is pondering theses things while sitting at The XC (cross country) Banquet of Mya's Senior Year (with out her even present.) Eager to serve one last time at the close of a season with these families I've grown to appreciate and love over the past six years. I am THANKFUL!
Thankful to see three of the four faces that have grown up since fourth grade together and over the coarse of time remained in contact with one another. Now these XC (18) Seniors where 10 of them have run together ever since Jr high anticipate the evening to share what they are thankful for. As I listened to their (17) speeches and occasionally laughing my head off hysterically, or wondering deeply, and weeping only once (it is hard to believe - I KNOW- but true) when John Bauchman spoke. Thankful that John was very transparent and how deeply he appreciated his parents and his grandparents for their Legacy; tough but sincere - I wept only then.
Yes I am thankful! He taught me something last night. That being real with those you Love means the world. I watched each of his family members. His little sister crawling on the floor under the table to whisper to their mom after he was finished, "He appreciated and said he LOVED ME!" with a very large grin and nod of her head. His brothers and Mom laughing with all the rest of us because of some rough lessons learned through them this senior year; then his parents and grandparents eyes glistening when he shared his Love and appreciation for them. But the most moving was watching them when he and his parents connected even more because of their unending support for John and ALWAYS being there. He noticed their love for him through their support. WOW! He and His Dad connected in a way that belonged to Just the two of them - MOVING.
Me? Thankful. For what? For the Lord, who gave and continues to give me new sights to see how precious the life he has granted me with. For dieing on the cross for me Jesus, THANK YOU!!! Last night because John was Real, I am going to take the time to tell my folks the "WHYS'" of my heartfelt thanks in the ways they allowed me to grow through the best that they knew how to give and offer. I am thankful that through them life would challenge me to search out God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
Thankful because of John, I also will share with the girls how special they are to me and why. Thankful for my spouse ("KENT, I LOVE YOU!") and with out him . . . where would I be challenged? Thankful for his humility even when others treat him unkindly and yet he doesn't retaliate or shoot off his mouth. Thankful with how he displays an example for me in my spiritual walk; because He fears and reveres the LORD before myself or any man. Thankful for a man who studies scripture fervently and is NEVER seeking attention of others like so many other people. Thankful because Kent is ALWAYS LISTENING, truly listening to others without any hint to "Show how much he knows" or "trying to be in the limelight seeking praises of 'men'" instead of the praise of the LORD. Thankful because Kent is quiet but genuinely caring for the 'untouchables or eggers' (extra GRACE required) personalities. Thankful because Kent you live by example, not trying to show people up, and knowing your are being held accountable to God for your life. Thankfulness for your patience and love while following your calling.
Lord Thank You for the brothers and sisters in Christ who live their lives with all their heart by shedding some light as an example for me. I am thankful for what you desire and for what is the best for the Kingdom. For I am STILL learning and growing.
So John B., as a young man, Thank You for YOUR presence and through another illustration in a speech last night that made me appreciate those whom I am thankful for.
The bustling of girls giggling and the hums of whispers about the goodies that appeared after their eyes grew weary with Mr. Sand Mans' dust. They try to contain their over zealous excitement and pitter patter rapidly down the stairs.
The painted frosted east bedroom windows show a dusting of prisms upon two other precious loves of our home. It is time to rise. Three eager and creeping around trying to keep quiet and two others trying to keep under the covers just a bit longer before coming out a resembling bear in a deep hibernation lasting only 8-10 hours although it should have been like an entire winters slumber. Sleep for me . . . not easy this morning. Too excited to see what the new day holds for our family of seven. Last we were divided in the night; one, two, four all in different locations physically but tied in unity of bloodline.
Kent, and the three "babieeeessss" at home holding down the fort. Mya and Tia in Peoria Illinois on an adventure learning from THE NATIONAL MISSIONARY CONVENTION - seeds being sown deep in their spiritual soils waiting to germinate. My heart is pondering theses things while sitting at The XC (cross country) Banquet of Mya's Senior Year (with out her even present.) Eager to serve one last time at the close of a season with these families I've grown to appreciate and love over the past six years. I am THANKFUL!
Thankful to see three of the four faces that have grown up since fourth grade together and over the coarse of time remained in contact with one another. Now these XC (18) Seniors where 10 of them have run together ever since Jr high anticipate the evening to share what they are thankful for. As I listened to their (17) speeches and occasionally laughing my head off hysterically, or wondering deeply, and weeping only once (it is hard to believe - I KNOW- but true) when John Bauchman spoke. Thankful that John was very transparent and how deeply he appreciated his parents and his grandparents for their Legacy; tough but sincere - I wept only then.
Yes I am thankful! He taught me something last night. That being real with those you Love means the world. I watched each of his family members. His little sister crawling on the floor under the table to whisper to their mom after he was finished, "He appreciated and said he LOVED ME!" with a very large grin and nod of her head. His brothers and Mom laughing with all the rest of us because of some rough lessons learned through them this senior year; then his parents and grandparents eyes glistening when he shared his Love and appreciation for them. But the most moving was watching them when he and his parents connected even more because of their unending support for John and ALWAYS being there. He noticed their love for him through their support. WOW! He and His Dad connected in a way that belonged to Just the two of them - MOVING.
Me? Thankful. For what? For the Lord, who gave and continues to give me new sights to see how precious the life he has granted me with. For dieing on the cross for me Jesus, THANK YOU!!! Last night because John was Real, I am going to take the time to tell my folks the "WHYS'" of my heartfelt thanks in the ways they allowed me to grow through the best that they knew how to give and offer. I am thankful that through them life would challenge me to search out God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
Thankful because of John, I also will share with the girls how special they are to me and why. Thankful for my spouse ("KENT, I LOVE YOU!") and with out him . . . where would I be challenged? Thankful for his humility even when others treat him unkindly and yet he doesn't retaliate or shoot off his mouth. Thankful with how he displays an example for me in my spiritual walk; because He fears and reveres the LORD before myself or any man. Thankful for a man who studies scripture fervently and is NEVER seeking attention of others like so many other people. Thankful because Kent is ALWAYS LISTENING, truly listening to others without any hint to "Show how much he knows" or "trying to be in the limelight seeking praises of 'men'" instead of the praise of the LORD. Thankful because Kent is quiet but genuinely caring for the 'untouchables or eggers' (extra GRACE required) personalities. Thankful because Kent you live by example, not trying to show people up, and knowing your are being held accountable to God for your life. Thankfulness for your patience and love while following your calling.
Lord Thank You for the brothers and sisters in Christ who live their lives with all their heart by shedding some light as an example for me. I am thankful for what you desire and for what is the best for the Kingdom. For I am STILL learning and growing.
So John B., as a young man, Thank You for YOUR presence and through another illustration in a speech last night that made me appreciate those whom I am thankful for.
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