Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Love and Cost to be a Parent

I have some friends who are sitting beside their prescious first born daughter who is fighting a very ugly battle with CANCER! I asked if I could write about them keeping their names private. Her response of coarse was sweet. "Dear Ana-Maria,

Yes, I would be honored to have her lifted up to the One who loves her, created her and will redeem her.
Love, . . . "

I HATE CANCER, but through the Glory of God and by living through the this kind of situation just months ago personally, and loosing Mom K on this side of Heaven. I can not imagine the ache as a parent. To pray her last moments are filled with her Maker. Wonderful Godly parents who raised two beautiful girls and experience a grandson's joy. Oh Abba be with them! Give comfort to this entire family that began as four and now are six. Take away the pain for all of them and fill it with your peace. The peace from you and heaven that ONLY YOU CAN GIVE.

Parenting. The LOVE. The Cost. The Joy. The Ache. On person told me once back in 1998 when mom K faced her breast cancer; As a parent . . . "When they are young your children step on your toes, when they are old they step on your heart. Whether with joy or with sorrow. You'll always be a parent" Parenting is one of the most loving, challenging and rewarding parts of life. Why is it some who have no business being a parent have wonderful children and some who have done absolutely the best in leading in Jesus Christ have some of the most rebellious children. Does it make sense that the pendulum swings so far to both extremes and then there are those whose pendulum swing consistently in the middle?

Shouldn't we desire from all that we are as a parent to raise our children to be human beings who are God Fearing? To raise our young ones to be those who stand for absolute truth knowing that they are loved. To raise them to become "Better Citizens, than I could ever possibly be." Why is it so hard to invest our hearts and not really know where the outcome really will lay? I have seen all spectrum's of the pendulum of parenting and I have lived in a home without Jesus Christ, knowing something was missing. Being brought up and Given the opportunity to develop and to be a person with a hard work ethic, High morals, manners and respect for authority. To be excellent minded driven. To use manners and respect, because it does matter; "Yes Mam, No Sir. Mr. & Mrs. _____. Thank You. Please. Your welcome. I'm sorry. May I. Excuse me. Treat others as you would want to be treated. (Thank You Mr. Balogney,) Give 100% and work hard. Give the elderly a helping hand. Get up and allow your elders to sit. Look people in the eyes when talking to them. Don't interrupt. Give a firm handshake. Will you forgive me. I was wrong (learned later in life). The list goes on and on and on. I am Thankful for you daddy and mommy for pushing me to be a learner, to be polite and one who is focused on proper respect, reguardless of age.

All every parent wants; or so I I would think, is to raise their children to understand that everything with excellence if filled with hard work and ultimately to have a Love relationship FIRST with THE CREATOR, our maker. Out of Love a parent needs to be a parent. Kent once told me and I couldn't agree more, "Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" but rebellion ultimately is a choice that we all can make on our own. Everyone wants to be loved. EVERYONE. So ultimately, our choices are just that. OURS. So where will ours lead us as parents? To a life that honors and upholds the value of LOVE.

When our children choose and make choices, and we have given what we felt best by parenting in the LORD, to be a follower of Jesus Christ, ultimately to walk differently - pure and holy (to be set apart) lives. We need to understand we can't make them do what we desire to be best, but they will have to live with the Blessing or the consequences of their choices. We are just asked to raise them in and with the Lord in a real relationship with Jesus Christ. "For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter though it . But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14 Therefore let us lead our children through our parenting to search for the narrow gate, open it and choose to walk through it.

See I was reading an article about a celebrity child's upbringing and the deterioration of a family because of wanting to be their friend and not a parent. At the end of the article it applies to all of us. So as Jim Daley wrote, "Very few parents are faced with the challenge of parenting a teen idol, a tough assignment to be sure. But what about the rest of us? Although we might not be trying to navigate stardom, we do have to navigate and manage human nature. Mark my words. Our kids will inevitably push the envelope and test the waters. It’s normal and natural to do so. Subconsciously many of us are wondering just how far we’ll allow them to go. Despite what they might say or how they might act, they want leadership.

Now a reality check. We all like to be liked. If it’s human nature for a kid to push, it’s human nature for a mom or dad to want to be favorably viewed by our kids. But here is the big question: Do we want to be their best pal – or their parent who often has to hold firm and say “no” when they desperately want us to say “yes”?

Here is your charge. Here is your challenge. Your kids have plenty of friends, maybe too many.
But only two people in the world can really be their parents. Step up. Be parents today and the friendship with your children - a real friendship - will grow into adulthood and likely last throughout your lives." author from Focus on the Family. I agree.

The cost of a parent . . . really is redeemed through LOVE.

All I desire for our girls is the BEST, Not good. Not better. BUT BEST! My desire is for their best in this life. Not to be of this world but ultimately to live a life that is different and one that leads to HEAVEN and eternally with the MESSIAH. Here's to leading them to the Narrow gate, no matter how hard yet rewarding it truly is!


Pam Ruth said...

Thanks Ana

Ana-Lou said...

You Ladies and Saints from our FIRST FULL TIME ministry have a very very special Place in my HEART! Where My parenting began!