Lessons through transparency that I'm learning I expose by pen or typed blogging; then sharing it in writing- because that is where the Lord is leading me and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g me at the present moment and time. On this electronic thing called blogging (whether here or on another technology source) recently has brought much sorrow and pain. Gosh, it cuts much deeper than any knife could strike a death blow.
Have you ever in your life had a very serious injury to discover you were bleeding profusely, maybe to death (figuratively speaking)? Well that is my heart right now. BLEEDING PROFUSELY through some serious words received. I've been praying, praying and praying for sincerely sought guidance. My lessons entrenched with severe pain at the moment. Moment of anguish. Moment of shock. Moment of desired peace. Revelation of things not even known how the individual really felt, dully noted after being made clearly known - has left this heart breaking from revealed sources of bottled up pasts. oh my, thrice before has this type came passing through and each time battle wounds engaged in the most severe way. The hurt wanting to stop, of a desire to mend. With time - maybe the misunderstanding will be amended. But unknown as to when, I am momentarily praying for the metaphorical bleeding to stop flowing from the death blown strike that has pierced my heart very seriously.
All I can do is depend on the Savior to regain my strength. This fourth blow to the heart; crucially serious and in need for healing. Today has left me in deep anguish emotionally, physically, spiritually - why? Because one is hurting and the reception of that hurt has landed here upon my heart with very serious allegations. But I will continue to still love because i do care even though the allegation have expressed otherwise, even though it has been expressed that I do not - i do.