What have I to Loose?

Over 2 thousand years ago and well . . . The Greatest Gift of Love ever manifested was given. Love that is totally unfathomable! You know that Love - not just a "feeling", the one that gave to the very end to where those around don't really understand because sin is so persuasive and subtle! Not the "I don't feel or have the feeling of love so let's move on" but the one that remains FAITHFUL even when it is hard.

When darkness sneaks around the corners of our very weaknesses just waiting for an opportunity to devour us by the recesses of our minds- our sin - my sin. The heart speaks loudly through actions. Just look deep into the eyes of another and the Lord does reveal much of the soul and spirit of another. It is so sad to look into the eyes of one deeply loved friends or family and see that Christ is not present there. Growing up in that darkness is experiential for myself. It was odd and still is odd that the "gut instinct of a child" is very real. No wonder that the Lord and Savior has said "to let the little children come unto him. For their innocence and their lives are pure until the adult world can taint them and lead them astray.

I have looked into many eyes in the midst of what is called my life - and my heart aches with the many that fool themselves like the church of Laodicia. I just learned of that kind of lukewarmness is AWFUL - this last Sunday and it deeply convicted my very depths of where I need to stop being "lukewarm". It also has made me look deep with in myself to yield every part of my being at his feet. I am daily needing to come to him because I am in desperate need if HIM. I am NOT in total control of anything of importance by the worlds standards other than the choices that I make of weather to follow HIM or NOT to follow HIM. Does that make sense?

Satan is real, he is sneaky and ugly with the intent to destroy as many as he can and he starts in the areas we are weak, I am weak. The battle is spiritual! The battle is defeatable ONLY through the BLOOD of JESUS CHRIST and the yielding of a heart to come to a daily dieing of self - to give 100% allegiance to the ONLY TRUE MASTER - Jesus Christ our EMMANUEL!!! So why do we as a human race try to fill our hearts with false LOVE - gods? What is your Love? My Love? What do we/I fill our/my hole in our/my lives/life with? ???? WHAT!? Prestige & Popularity-anything, anyone and everything it takes to "fit in with the world" ? Power-(Pride really) - all that it costs to be in front of society "the top dog ego"? Possessions- the material gain? Why??? It only creates a deeper & larger hole in the heart and never satisfies to the point that it eventually consumes the person if they continue with the Lies Satan is feeding their heart. The person then begins to lie to others and themselves. Is it worth gaining the entire world and losing your soul for all eternity?

All this said to reveal there is FREEDOM from this bondage, it is called - REPENTANCE. Fill your heart with the Lord by submitting to His Son - Jesus Christ and FOLLOW HIM! He died a very real death so that YOU and I can truly LIVE with JOY and have "TRUE LOVE & PEACE" that only he can & will give to those who accept and Believe in HIM. So do you believe that Jesus IS the Christ, the Son of the living God? That He died & arose from the grave so that you may live? Then ask Jesus Christ into your life today and confess with your mouth that he is LORD of you life! And upon your confession go & be baptized -IMMERSED - and sin no more. Welcome to our Family!!! Now get up and get involved with a Bible Believing body (church) that teaches the truth of the scriptures as truth & love. Read the book of John (in the new testament) is a great place to start and a proverb a day (31 to match each day of the month).

I share because I care with deep Love and my heart is being broken with convictions of my own. I know not when my 'Today" will be my last, and I have nothing to loose.

Where Have I Been?

This a loaded question really. I have been enjoying being a stay at home mother AGAIN!!! :-)
Time is flying by and I can not seem to get it to SLOW DOWN!!! YIKES. Which has led me to the bended KNEES frequently lately! "The Prayers of a righteous man availith much." First I have been pleading and imploring our Lord to see me through Christ's righteousness because I sure have a LONG way to go. Answering one of the Highest callings to be replied positively to.

Kent is truly enjoying the calling on his life (and our lives as well). He is ALWAYS delving into the word - Yes John B. he is still a "walking concordance". Reading, Reading, Reading! :-) For down time it is spent with our girls, guitar and games (okay I had to do a three point illiturative so really it is BASKETBALL instead of games LOL). He makes us all feel like princesses Yes ALL of US! :-) I Love you >>>>>!!!! ;-P

Mya - life it so "stressed" for her in this season. She spreading her wings yet making some preparations for college and her last year in school not to mention her summer plans. I Love You Mishka!

Tia - is blossoming into her self and her names sake - "JOY" It is soooo good to see her return to what she has always been. She is making decisions for what she desires to be and do with her life. I Love You Teegy!

Faith - Wow life is changing so fast for her lately. She has shot up in growth, her curls are so long, and she is in the process of a metamorphosis - YIKES another new season. She is a trooper and learning lessons of LIFE. I Love You Manaithy!

Emily - She is discovering who she is! She is also leaving the age of innocence which so breaks my mothers heart. She is not so an so's daughter, sister, etc., she is EMILY HOPE who gives many others hope through her very loving way. This year has been hard, like a grueling obstacle course - I know she will survive while being refined. I Love You Emma Lemma!

Hadassah - Oh the short yet fast time of 9 weeks and turning 2 months has literally made our hearts and heads spin! For such a time as this . . . "she brings smiles to ALL of us". Right now she is a glue that has brought a new meaning to BONDING! I Love You Hadassah (or Haddy as your sista's have been calling you :-P)!

Where Have I Been? Weighing the balances of Life. Struggling with where to walk next. What is the step of FAITH necessary for me - in where it is BEST for the KINGDOM and not what I desire? Oh the heart of a mother. Oh the Love of following Christ and realizing there is so much more to do in Him. Oh the steps taken up to this point that have changed the coarse of my life to bring me to NOW. Oh Abba, Father God where have I been that I need to learn from and then to yet respond to for you. How to be and make wise choices that can and will effect the family. Where have I been that I need not ever return? Here it is - all lay ed at the Lord's feet and I'll let him Lead.

So . . . . . . . Where have you been?

What's in a Name?

Names. Identity. Character. Chosen. Pondered. "ME".
What is in a name? Everything.

A memory of mine takes me back to our Youth Ministry 1988 internship and a few years later - NAMES. Oh my ability to "remember" was weak, so I thought until a very special young man share with me, "We all remember what is important to us - Maria!" Well . . . . that is so true. It did make me stop, gaze into his evervesant blue eyes to seriously ponder that statement. He gave some illustrations in my own life the "things that were easy for me to remember" and it was because of the connection to PEOPLE. So why was it up to that point too difficult for me to remember "NAMES"? It was/ is a challenge now for me to find ways to REMEMER names because it is the true "WHO's WHO?"

Let me also share a vividly fond memory. February 1992 - A very dear couple came to visit us in the hospital. Uncle Beck and I had something in common - phenetic spellers LOL - Ha! :-) Well our little one was very new and they were there! Her name . . . "My a Nickel" :-) (Mya Nicole). We laughed together with Uncle Beck and Auntie Joan many times since 1988 and now we have a new way to say Mya's name. ;-)

Well . . . What is YOUR NAME? What does it mean? Why did your parents give that name to you? Who are you?

Heaven Praise by BLESSINGS

Heavenly Blessings that we Praise the Lord of Lords for -2008!!!
" Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord, O my soul. (As Kent & I do )
I will praise the Lord all my Life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live."

Psalm 146: 1-2

So much to praise him for and so much to ponder and permanently place in my heart. Hadassah arrived with so much anticipation from our entire family. Kent, Mya, Tia, Faith, Emily and I had just had one of our family favorite meals when Hadassah began things in motion on the eve of what we celebrate to be the Christ child's birth. I have always cherished this time of the year since a very young age and now we have a child who we shared that day of Joy and celebration with for our entire family!
Humble

Anointed

Dainty

A blessing

Spiritual gift
Significant - star
Answered prayer

Honored
I was so very awed by the girls and how they played a VERY significant part on Christmas Eve! They were superb! All four of them made our Joy complete - Our family is Blessed 7 fold! The girls stepped up and stood in the gap in a very monumental time in all of our lives - and they surprised us with the warmest of "WELCOME HOME" ever!

Our praise is to give him All the Glory for the Life we've been selected to be BLESSED with for "such a time as this" in the season of our lives with Hadassah. Each of our daughters are a magnificent part of our family and we would never trade one of them for anything else! Our love for them is magnanimous!!! ;-) Each one has such an impacting role in our lives - which was reflected upon deeply on our trip home. When the question has been and still remains every now and again, "Mom, do You love any of us more?" or "Who is your favorite?" The answer is always the same. "You are my favorite ______(i.e. first, second, third, fourth) born!!!" They always smile and reply the same, "Mommy, I am the only ____ born!" to which I say, "That is right, and God knew You were the only one who could be in our family right there! I LOVE you more than you can imagine and you are perfectly placed right there to cement us together! ;-)" Hadassah will receive that same response and know just like them she is LOVED. By all of us!

I wish everyone could see our girls in action in our home since the moment they saw her on CHRISTmas Eve minutes after her birth!!! They have showered her with Love like no other! They are sooooo good to her and to one another to the point that I am just speechless! I am in the AWE of God with knowing Kent and I are truly BLESSED deeply with these 5 special ladies!!!!! Our task is to simply raise them in the Lord and know that He has blessed them and anointed them with a calling from Heaven also!

So our CHRISTmas morning gift was wrapped in swaddling clothes and presented as a gift also and she gave us all great JOY- I too will always cherish 2008 Christmas and ponder these things in my heart while continually PRAISING the LORD~ Amen and AMEN!!!

Excited expectancy

I am sooo excited to share that we had a very good checkup and HaSa is all about the Lord's timing of arrival!!! We are finished wrapping gifts, getting my FMLA papers completed before our snow day so that I will not be returning to school so that I can be with HaSa for the full FMLA regulations. I Have been sooo thrilled along with Kent and the girls excitement! We have a secret that we are anticipating HaSa to be here this week sometime. We'll see!!!

This last month has been a blessing we took our family pictures with a very dear friend who did an WONDERUL JOB!!! ;-)
Oh I love the laughing that has come into our home since last Friday the 19th of December, we found old family videos and laughed together, cried together from our laughter, and we have played games, wrapped gifts, and baked goodies and had parties attended. Now we all are just waiting patiently for our bundle of Joy to fit into our home and complete us! The cutest things have been said around here that we are all laughing together. ;-P !!!

Emily even has a cute little bet with two special teachers. They think HaSa is a boy and Emily is firm in a girl. So she has cookies on the line~~~ :-). Let's see . . . who is going to make and who is going to receive. Mya and Chaz even have their own little thing but theirs is based on arrival of HaSa. Again We shall see.


Sunday - I wanted to cry from getting to be "Mary" and do a special with HaSa - Thank You Abba, for I am truly excited with great expectancy to be blessed once again with a gift from Heaven!!! May you receive all the Glory and Praise! Thank you for your provisions my entire life for all of my children and for one more time to have been done unto me as you have blessed!

Amen and Amen! I too now have pondered many things in my heart with each life my womb has been blessed abundantly even with Jordan. May all of them; Mya, Tia, Faith, Emily & HaSa Love you deeper and richer than I do because you have allowed me to be the pioneer for them for Heavenly riches!

In Jesus Name We praise YOU!!!